hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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