cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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