i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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