i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
