non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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