The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
