If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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