Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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