spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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