I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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