I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
