i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
