he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
