at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
