you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
