I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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