i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
