You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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