walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
