Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
