If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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