his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize