so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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