I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
