Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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