i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
