It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
