I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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