Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have tasted many bathrooms
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
