I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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