I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
