I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
