I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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