started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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