I am puke
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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