names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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