What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
