But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
