I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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