Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize