i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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