we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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