with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
