Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
