woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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