so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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