My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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