he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
