C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
