the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
