You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
