okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
