Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
What did we do last night that was yellow?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
