I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
